Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
