There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
