Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
