Whod you bang
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
