OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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