I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
