She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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