I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
