I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
