You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
