How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
