Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
