Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
