that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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