Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
