You really coming over, don't trick.
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
