i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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