The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
