all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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