she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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