IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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