I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
