Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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