so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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