I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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