because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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