im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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