You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
