anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
