My room smells like vodka and shame
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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