i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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