grandma shit on top of the toilet
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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