Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
