those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
