He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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