Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize