Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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