To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
