I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i believe in u and ur pee
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize