my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I didn't notice because vodka
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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