Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
