just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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