i already hear my dad disowning me
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
one might say we're banned from that church
handjob tips. give me some.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
