For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
