Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
