on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
