bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
