I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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