She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
