You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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