What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
