dude i'm inner monologue high
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We had to coat check the pizza.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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