you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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