Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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