sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
