things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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