oh god the rape fog is back!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That accounts for only three of the penises
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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