Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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