oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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